Our Stories

As a married couple, we’ve discovered how to collaborate effectively, so we’re sharing our challenges cause we all have a story that shapes who we are. 

 My story: I got married in 2000, and a few years later, Ian suggested, “Hey, let’s start having a kid.” As a woman, you do what’s necessary to prepare for having a baby.

So we began trying in 2002, but for over a year, nothing happened. 

Returning to the OBGYN for testing confirmed that I wasn’t normal, indicating that additional assistance would be necessary. We began the process of using medications and hormones to try to conceive. 

In 2003, we bought a home in the County of Brant where we planned to raise our family. While shopping for new couches, Ian bought a moon with a star that I had seen in a furniture store. He wrapped it up with a certificate for my birthday, symbolizing that regardless of how our family grows, it will always be ours. 

So we began trying to have a family. During the years 2004-2006, we had multiple miscarriages and months when we did nothing, so that I could get pregnant a couple times a year, but I couldn’t carry it now. 

My OBGYN was located in Burlington, and unfortunately, transferring my medical records to a doctor in the County of Brant wasn’t feasible. After experiencing my third miscarriage, we started the process of arranging a consultation at a fertility clinic at McMaster Hospital. This meant more testing, including for Ian. We had another miscarriage in early 2006, and our appointment wasn’t scheduled until August 2006. So, we continued with the medications, injections, and monitoring until the appointment.

On July 4th, 2006, we received a positive pregnancy test. However, after several miscarriages and nearly four years of trying, our reaction was not excitement but rather fear, sadness, and pain. 

I contacted my doctor, and he advised, “Don’t alter anything.” He instructed me not to make any changes or do anything differently. So, I followed his advice. I continued with my work and responsibilities, but I halted the projects I enjoy working on. Now, at 10 weeks, is the feared ultrasound a reality? 

We contacted the fertility clinic to offer our appointment to another couple on the waiting list. The nurse asked, “Are you sure? It will take time to reschedule.” I replied that if we lose this pregnancy, I will need time to grieve, and if everything is fine, I wouldn’t want the appointment to go unused. That’s who I am, always planning and considering others. 

We booked our ultrasound locally so we were close to home just in case of the news; the Willett had an ultrasound in 2006. So the tech began with the why and dreaded question “how many pregnancies and how many births” - 4 pregnancies and no births. 

To this day, I wish I knew her name; she looked while my husband and I held our breath. She found the raspberry-sized baby and then turned and showed us a beating dot. She has a heart, and it is beating. The ultrasound at the Willet didn’t have a printer, so she gave us the film, so we had something to share. 

We are pregnant, and we have a heartbeat, so precaution always; tell no one. I had one friend with whom I shared my entire journey, as she had a similar one. 

My high-risk pregnancy turned again at 4 months; I have high blood pressure, so a reduction in work and another medication. I called it “Sit Rest” to avoid “Bed Rest”. 

Despite numerous tests and ultrasounds, she still didn’t reveal if she was a they. So, for Christmas, we opted for a 3D ultrasound and discovered she was a girl! Our gender reveal (not a trend at the time) was shared via email with a photo! 

At 7 months, I started leaking- no worries, just a little, no issues. All while completing every test and getting an ultrasound every month. Fridays turned into appointment day! Thank goodness for vacation days.

I now have high blood pressure, experienced a slow leak, and naturally, I have Psoriasis. At one point, I didn’t know whether to call my family doctor or my OB, so I ended up on a first-name basis with the office administrative staff. We reached week 35, and I am thrilled. We are doing well. 

In Week 38, she hasn’t turned and is also very quiet. I went on bed rest, which was the couch; week 39 still having issues; week 40, my pressure is still rising; meds are not helping  - so induction date 2 days later. 

On induction day, I wasn’t dilating and had preeclampsia, but the contractions weren’t too severe. My husband and I prefer privacy, so no one was in the waiting room. I was in labor all day. By 6:30 pm, the nurse sent my husband to get something to eat, and I decided to get an epidural because it was recommended. Feeling exhausted, I agreed, but with certain conditions! 

Following the epidural and some rest, alarms started sounding, and there was no heartbeat detected, leading to quick actions and hands moving. Suddenly, Ian was in scrubs, my day nurse was still on duty, and I asked, “Stop—what is happening?” It was then I learned they had lost her for a moment, and we needed to deliver her immediately. 

So emergency C-section it is - Dr K said: “She couldn’t wait till I finished my dinner; let’s get this little bug out.”

She was born at 8:40 pm, with the cord wrapped around her neck twice, and appeared purple. She returned to us after the cord was cut in front of the entire staff, including the day nurses who stayed to greet her. I saw her, and then she and Ian were taken away. I woke up in recovery with a quiet, perfect bundle lying beside me. 

I still have that piece of film of our raspberry we now call Carrigan.